STOP For your own Sake!
Happy Thanksgiving.
It's that time of the year. The time of the year when we all wax poetic for a few minutes about our lives and then go about forgetting it and carying on with our busy schedules. I find this year though my introspective look is different. This year I find myself thinking of how it must be for others. You see I have done the "look in" thing. I am thankful and grateful for everything I have. My sisters(and their families) who I don't see enough, my brother(and his family) who I likewise don't see enough, my parents who I miss more than I ever thought I would. (More because there is so much I wished they could see and understand about me and my life...sigh... but those ships have sailed...) I am thankful for my life, wife, children, and extended family. I am truly blessed and very lucky - even if i do routinely grunt, bitch, and moan about all I don't have.
But over the course of the past few years I have spent more and more time trying to place myself in the shoes of others and try and imagine where and how they feel. I have a friend who is spending thanksgiving away from their child for the first time. I have another who is going through a very stressful time related to their work. And another who is in the middle of a legal dispute that could have major impacts on their life. And I ask myself, "what are they thankful for at this moment?" I suspect a day off and the even temporary respite from their daily stresses is a joy for that matter. But for what do these people give thanks?
I wrote a while back about how we all carry our own bag of rocks through life with us making us each special and unique in our own way, (Thanks for the reference friend), and these people, my friends, are each struggling with their own bag of rocks right now. Now while we all move through life and rub up against each, other we often make the mistake of thinking "this person did that on purpose". or "They/She/He/they knew that would hurt me!"
We attribute motives and designs to all of the actions taken by other people in our lives. We naturally tend to do this from a self-concentric perspective. I am not so sure that's a good thing. My friends are not bad people. They don't, I believe, mean to do ill or harm to their work, friends, or relatives etc. They are just struggling with their bag of rocks in their own way. The decisions and actions they take are centric to them, not others and from their perspective likely look different than I am perceiving them. Someday they make look back at their actions and be embarrassed, proud or regretful. Or they might not...
I think the most important thing about thanksgiving is not in recognizing that you are grateful for this or for that. The value in Thanksgiving is in the degree you have the ability to step out of your circle and look up and see, really see others. Because it's only when you stop fretting about your rocks, and you look at all of the people around you, with their bags, and their rocks, ..... it is only then that you can gain the understanding, compassion and insight required to be a better person. If you can't do that, if you can't let go of your own bag, for even a second, if you can't at least try to see the bigger picture ... then you may be doomed to even more stress and strain as your life moves forward...
I am thankful that from time to time the people in my life closest to me, help me to manage to look up.
It's that time of the year. The time of the year when we all wax poetic for a few minutes about our lives and then go about forgetting it and carying on with our busy schedules. I find this year though my introspective look is different. This year I find myself thinking of how it must be for others. You see I have done the "look in" thing. I am thankful and grateful for everything I have. My sisters(and their families) who I don't see enough, my brother(and his family) who I likewise don't see enough, my parents who I miss more than I ever thought I would. (More because there is so much I wished they could see and understand about me and my life...sigh... but those ships have sailed...) I am thankful for my life, wife, children, and extended family. I am truly blessed and very lucky - even if i do routinely grunt, bitch, and moan about all I don't have.But over the course of the past few years I have spent more and more time trying to place myself in the shoes of others and try and imagine where and how they feel. I have a friend who is spending thanksgiving away from their child for the first time. I have another who is going through a very stressful time related to their work. And another who is in the middle of a legal dispute that could have major impacts on their life. And I ask myself, "what are they thankful for at this moment?" I suspect a day off and the even temporary respite from their daily stresses is a joy for that matter. But for what do these people give thanks?
I wrote a while back about how we all carry our own bag of rocks through life with us making us each special and unique in our own way, (Thanks for the reference friend), and these people, my friends, are each struggling with their own bag of rocks right now. Now while we all move through life and rub up against each, other we often make the mistake of thinking "this person did that on purpose". or "They/She/He/they knew that would hurt me!"
We attribute motives and designs to all of the actions taken by other people in our lives. We naturally tend to do this from a self-concentric perspective. I am not so sure that's a good thing. My friends are not bad people. They don't, I believe, mean to do ill or harm to their work, friends, or relatives etc. They are just struggling with their bag of rocks in their own way. The decisions and actions they take are centric to them, not others and from their perspective likely look different than I am perceiving them. Someday they make look back at their actions and be embarrassed, proud or regretful. Or they might not...
I think the most important thing about thanksgiving is not in recognizing that you are grateful for this or for that. The value in Thanksgiving is in the degree you have the ability to step out of your circle and look up and see, really see others. Because it's only when you stop fretting about your rocks, and you look at all of the people around you, with their bags, and their rocks, ..... it is only then that you can gain the understanding, compassion and insight required to be a better person. If you can't do that, if you can't let go of your own bag, for even a second, if you can't at least try to see the bigger picture ... then you may be doomed to even more stress and strain as your life moves forward...I am thankful that from time to time the people in my life closest to me, help me to manage to look up.
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