Mcons Mind

People are funny. Most of the year we go happily about our business, dutifully immersed in our daily lives and schedules, oblivious to the majority of events in the world around us. We chat with our friends about the weather and what Sally Bloggins did. (A sin what happened wasn't it?) We do this routinely without ever really knowing or, in many cases for that matter, caring about what happens in the world around us. We live our own lives. Then, with American Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years all on top of each other, we proclaim loudly to reflect and consider others. Aye, the same others we have been ignoring for the past 10 months. This srikes me as a load of self-righteous bullshit. Hah!! Most of us spend ten and a half months of the year unable to see past our own noses, and then think ourselves spiritual and reflective when we go through the motions while sitting at a table with food enough on it to feed the hungry for a week?  I wonder.... How deep do our reflection...

I have taken this space to rant about what I don't believe in before but I have not been clear as to what I DO believe, so in the spirit of full disclosure, here it is in part ....and please excuse me for the rambling... I believe in Karma.  Not the "everything comes around because it has to kind of Karma,  but like a gambles believes that sooner or later their number has to come up a winner,  I believe that if you, or anyone for that matter,  is a complete tool it follows that at some point in time someone is going to be a complete tool to you.  I see that as probable. I also see that as balancing and I strongly believe in Balance. I believe in Balance. Good, bad it's all part of us and we are all capable of both. I also believe it is possible for something we see as evil to be good for someone else. I know as a younger person I have committed acts I believed to be good only to later in life, upon reflection, to view differently. I also believe our p...

I don't believe in God. A decision I came to a long time ago and have grown more obstinate about recently. While I once just tolerated others believing nowadays I become annoyed and agitated when they (Other People) just assume I am a christian like them. Likewise I do not believe as I am told that religion is good. Nor do I believe it is harmless. All this said one of the few times it causes me concern of any real nature is when someone dies. Given that I don't believe, how can I offer comfort or support someone else in their mourning? You see, I do not believe the dead are in "a better place."  Even if I did for that matter, wouldn't it be presumptuous of me to assume to know what good or evil was in their heart when they died? So not believing in heaven or hell puts me in a bind. You see, when people say things like "god has just received another angel..", well, I think that's crap. But I am well aware that at a time of a death or someon...

Happy Thanksgiving. It's that time of the year. The time of the year when we all wax poetic for a few minutes about our lives and then go about forgetting it and carying on with our busy schedules. I find this year though my introspective look is different. This year I find myself thinking of how it must be for others. You see I have done the "look in" thing. I am thankful and grateful for everything I have. My sisters(and their families) who I don't see enough, my brother(and his family) who I likewise don't see enough, my parents who I miss more than I ever thought I would. (More because there is so much I wished they could see and understand about me and my life...sigh... but those ships have sailed...) I am thankful for my life, wife, children, and extended family. I am truly blessed and very lucky   - even if i do  routinely grunt, bitch, and moan about all I don't have.    But over the course of the past few years I have spent more and more time tr...

I have been thinking for a long time how I was going to word this post.  This is about the single most important decision I have ever made in my life as almost everything that I value has come of it.  In 1976/1977 I joined the cadet program.   Now make no mistake when I did it I had no illusions about a career as a soldier or airman. I had no aspirations to fly. I was chasing a girl I had become infatuated with that I had met earlier and figured if a haircut was all it would take to get close to her then so be it. Alas, Karen Greeley never saw me as a legitimate suitor. But my life was changed forever. Understand I was a kid with baggage. My father and I had no real relationship at the time to speak of, (see earlier posts) and my Mother was starting to struggle with Multiple Sclerosis. She was up to her eyeballs with three teens and a toddler and a husband who had challenges of his own. She alone was trying to hold it all together. (And to her credit she was!) ...

 This weekend will mark one year since my father died. It will mark one year since I have been without any living parents,  a place I expected to be only when I was much much older. I spoke to a friend the other day and he pointed out that he was 25 when his last living parent died and all I could think was, "damn".  25 is so young to be alone in the world. Don't get me wrong this is not a post about me feeling alone and wanting to be hugged or held or any of that stuff. Generally speaking I don't want or need that kind of comfort. I have a beautiful wife, two great kids, a home, a job, a little spare cash to sometime splurge on. Life generally is pretty good. But I do miss them, my parents. I miss them terribly at times. Mostly I feel sad for them not knowing or seeing what I have managed to do with my life. I am sad my mom never meet my wife and know what wonderful woman she is, I did good. I am sad she will never know Grace or Willow. I am sad my parents will ...