Whats important.

This weekend past I had for the first time in my life what you might call a close call.

My wife and I while driving to Fredericton, Newfoundland, (just outside of Gander) hit a moose on the highway. For those of you that don't know what a moose is (My American friends mostly...) - think of a deer on steroids. (Seriously, we are talking 1500lbs vice 300 and think 6-7 feet high at the shoulder vice 4)  Also think broad, thick and heavy like the feller on the left here except when he stands next to your car he is taller than it by almost a foot. Hairy with bone antlers... you have the idea. Him big, heavy and tough and sturdy.

Now we are both OK. A bit of skillful and cautious driving, along with watchful eyes, helped to insure that the vehicle contacted the rather large animal at a relatively low speed once we caught sight of him coming out of the woods on the non-lighted highway.  More than anything we scared the shit out of him(and us) and bashed up the car. (6-7K in damages and he ran away into the woods without even so much as a visible limp!)  But the caved in windshield between my and my wife's head was a vivid reminder of how my life has changed the last 15 years. 15 Years .... And as i type it it seems like such a long time. But it isn't. Or at least it wasn't.  When I stop and look back and try and remember it all I can't. Not because I am old and forgetful (I am sure that that time will come), but because it went by and happened so fast. It was a blur, a snap of my fingers. I realize now that people I have known all my life...if I haven't conversed with you in the past 10 years, if you haven't seen me and talked to me in the last few years well you don't know shit about me because I am not the same person you knew.

The Martin Constantine that existed in the 1970''s, 1980's, 1990's is dead and gone.

I am not that person. The guy who partied, tried to be a player, who drank his face off, drank from the punch bowl like it was his own private glass, the guy who dated two sides of a set of twins to prove he could and get away with it, the guy who partied all night, paused to throw-up and then went at it again,...that guy?..

Dead.

 Dead as a doornail.

Don't get me wrong,  he is in here somewhere. But the things I have just described are now not seen as achievements or accomplishments anymore despite the fact I may pine nostalgic for that foolishness at times. ( I am sooo fickle...sigh)  They are not important.  From my "now" perspective,  they never really were. (Youth,  Bah!)  They might have been important to a self absorbed, self focused individual back in the day... but now are remembered as warnings of what not to do.  How not to piss away your time. Now I remember hangovers more than parties. I remember hurt feelings I caused, more than "ladies I scored".   I can't be bothered trying to remember unimportant things that have no bearing on anything real or substantial. 

My first words to my wife after we hit the moose were "Your OK. We are Okay honey," I didn't think to tell her how I was. Didn't seem important.  But her being okay was very important. She, I know would do fine without me. She will not only survive but she would be more than Okay, she is smart and resilient.  I know ...much as I hate to admit it.. I would be completely lost without her. I could survive but I could not manage my world, and my family without her or at least not nearly as well as we do now. She is what holds the family and me together.  If something was to happen to her I would be doomed. The damage, NOT important. The Cost, NOT important. The ONLY important fact was that, she and by extension, my family, was okay.

So the things that might have held meaning for me in the past no longer do...So whats important now? Well, strangely enough, the mundane things that by all accounts most people take for granted.

My family went to MacDonald's for supper last night. It was loud, noisy, messy and I grumbled the whole time we were there... but damned if it wasn't important. We all went out as a family, with each other, joking, poking, pulling, teasing and laughing all together. That's whats important.

Lying in my bed bed this morning with Mom and Dad as bookends with two little girls jammed in like sardines in brine watching the "LaLa Oppsie" movie special, (for a 2nd time!) All snuggled under the blankets... That was important -  just like it will be every morning for the next 5 days if they can swing it.

..and who knows they just might ...because it's important.

Hug and hold someone you love today...you won't be able to when they are gone, grown,  or even just elsewhere....

Do it because you love them, do it because you like them, do it out of guilt but do it...

IT'S IMPORTANT